Midweek Midway L’Amyx: Feld’s New Monster Jams, Dragone’s Touring Cirque du Seuss ...

Okay, flats cut and spotted. Runs up. Roll them wagons off, guys! ... Now you people over there, stay back, okay? And keep your kids in toe! ... Hey, Sage! Spot those monster trucks in back of the hula hoop wagon!

What’d you say? Don Covington has news? Ask him to meet me over by the ice house! Okay, get those Story Department wagons down the runs and move ‘em out!

Getting a little crowded out here? Now, you people new to this midway, check out the chat tents over there under the trees. Comments getting tossed around on the inside ... I’ve got to start taking notes myself. It’s all so mixed up, this dizzy debate about whatever it is we still call “circus.” Kenneth Feld, did you hear, just sank $175 million into a shaky venture called Live Nation Motor Sports, according to the Wall Street Journal ... To be renamed Feld Entertainment Motor Sports. Now, we all know what happens whenever the Felds concoct titles that do not have the words Ringling or Disney in them...

Why don’t I feel a thrill? Parent company Live Nation pulled in last year about 4% of its total revenue from motor sports, says WSJ, and tried dumping it for $240 million. Perfect for the Felds, who’ve got the perfect setting already in use for their ringless division — those black oval mats that Ken Dodd called “a parking lot.” Count me out...

What’s this, Sage? Here's an advance flash from Covington! Franco Dragone, who created, claim his fans, the art of Cirque du Soleil, holding Vegas auditions for a new touring tent show based on a Dr. Seuss tale, “If I Ran the Circus.” Slated to start touring next March. How I’d love to write that script. L’Amyx counter guy Will, originally from China and recently in Vegas with his new bride, tells me he did not try out and is not a Chinese acrobat, whatever that is. Did he take in a Cirque show while in sin city? No, answers Will. He saw Circus Circus. Which brings us back to the Big Issue. And here’s Henry Edgar with the ultimate Big Question: “Do we continue doing what we’ve always done, investing profits wisely and keeping the makeup and sequins perfectly in place until finally nobody wants the perfect show at any price?” Yes, indeed. What if somebody produced a big top to die for and still nobody but me came? Oh, heck, what’s an old fashioned circus guy to do?

What a difference two eyes make: Last time here, Chase told us how much he liked Bellobration. Now comes perky Amy Shmamy (trust you’re not a Feld operative, Amy), posting a refreshingly upbeat review of Over the Top at the end of my own grudging notice. First Ringling she’s seen in eight years. To her engaging write up I commend your attention. Amy felt the story line “brought everything together.” Glad you enjoyed your big top broccoli, Amy ... I still have a weakness for cotton candy.

When did the whole thing splinter off into radical disarray? Was it Circus Circus? Alan Cabal pushes for rock in the ring. Check out Circus Oz, Alan; here, you can have my ticket. No more acrobats on acid, in S&M gear, or out of rehab for me. In fact, may I have permission, World, to nix certain shows I no longer care to delude myself into believing are circuses? Hey, is John Strong on the train? ... I’m in the mood for a couple of goats, one amateur clown not holding a Ph.D in theatre, and John’s charming chatter ...

Sage! Those bed sheets belong in the Lyra Therapy wagon! “My particular nightmare,” admits Cabal, "involves Live Nation acquiring Big Apple or Soleil. As much as I dislike the Guide [Mr. Laliberte], I’ll take a single narcissistic megalomaniac over a faceless horde of bean counters any day.”

To that, I’ll raise my imported rice tea ... Hey, you guys! Move those Mighty Metaphors along!